Some truths

Here's some truth about me.  You may already know some of them.

1. I'm shy - seriously I am - when you first meet me I hardly say anything. I sit back and watch the situation. I can even make myself sick over meeting someone or doing something new.

2.  I'm very insecure about everything

3.  I worry about friendships a lot - lately I have been feeling I put more value on my friendships than I receive in return and really that's not the case or I hope that's not the case - see truth # 2

4.  I am a HUGE worrier - always have been always will be - working on making it less life debilitating though since it has made me physically ill

5.  My feelings get hurt very easily. It has happened several times today and probably wasn't meant to be but then referring back to truth #2 is probably the reason.

6.  I can be very lazy and it can last for weeks and then turn OCD  to get everything done, organized and clean. ( I like the OCD part of me wish it came out more often)

7.  I don't like to give my opinions on hot topics because I'm afraid of sounding dumb and/or starting an argument where I get frustrated trying to share my thoughts and sound dumb

8. My family is dysfunctional but really no different than any other dysfunctional family just probably in a different way. Though in my mind at times I think we are the worst.

9.  I can kill a conversation through texting. Yup I can text back in a conversation and state something and the conversation is ended right there or my comment is totally ignored. Actually it's probably because well refer back to truth #2

10.  They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Well you think it is and you want what others have and I know in my head it's just a different shade of green but man I can't seem to tell my heart that sometimes.

Not every day is filled with these truths and most times I am the only one that sees them.  It also goes to show we are always a work in progress.

We have a teenager

Yup we have a teenager  in The Potter household.

How did that happen.

We are so proud of you Marcus.

You have grown into an amazing young man, with a caring heart. You are funny and stubborn. You are smart and smart assed and you take after your Mom and Dad so much that there is no denying you are ours.

We love you buddy and welcome to the teenage years

Here's to Marcus

Here's to our son.

You all know who this is. Marcus - our funny, loving, caring, goofy, fabulous son.

Several years ago a teacher introduced him to rugby. He loved it. Move 3 years later and he is in love with it even more.

This year he played U13 for the Calgary Saints Junior program. A fantastic team.  At the end of May he was invited to try out for the U14 Southern Alberta Boys team. He was one of the younger players to try out and that was out of about 50 kids. We even had to head to Edmonton to play the Northern Alberta team before the team was picked.

Seemed like weeks went by - never heard a peep. Then an email stating if you made the team and email would come to you shortly. Shortly never came. Well that's not true - seems rugby players, managers etc can't tell time and I was being impatient.

Many many hours later we got an email - CONGRATULATIONS.

OMG I couldn't believe it - I actually woke Marcus up and told him. He was so excited and I know he was proud of himself. As parents we were too. I cried. Yup I admit it. I cried. I knew he was good at playing rugby but didn't think good enough to make that team this year. Hell he was playing against some of the best of the best.  Guess my boy is one of them.

He has played the summer of his life, playing for two teams. The Saints took a break at the end of July and the provincial team took over, well after a short break. Marcushad to take a week off due to receiving a concussion/whiplash. That was the only time I heard "I'm bored" all summer.

The beginning of August was National Junior Rugby Festival in Calgary. Approx 1000 rugby players from all over Canada between the ages of 12 to 19 played a week on the pitch. Marcus even spent a day volunteering and being a ball boy for the older teams games.

Our boys did great. I am actually not positive of all the stats as one team never showed and 3 games were called due to rain/lightening.  We did win one and they played great. A few great friends and family came to watch, maybe they were the lucky charm we needed.

A week later we travelled to Kelowna for another tournament. Marcus on the team bus and staying with the team in dorms at the UBC Campus and Terry and I on our our. First time ever since July 2000. We did fun childless things and showed up in time for the game (ok we missed about 10 mins of it, there was wine to buy and fun to be had).

They played hard but unfortunately lost that game. Marcus was however named "Man of the Match" along with another player from his team. They are such a great bunch of kids. Even though their home teams are all rivals they all came together and did Southern Alberta proud.

Next week we are back to playing for the Saints for the fall session, and then we will be done until next March. That is unless Marcus makes the 2015 U14 Southern Alberta Rugby team.  Stay tuned.

MY HEART

You know when you have one of those days and you think if one more thing happens it's going to push me over the edge and it does! Well that's kind of been me lately not just today.

Not really sure what it was that pushed me over the edge tonight (ok maybe I actually do, maybe it was about 5 things) but I knew I had to quickly get out of this funk or I was going to regret my actions.

So I did what I normally do - get up and get in my vehicle and drive, however this time I took my most precious prize with me so I wouldn't wallow in self pity. Yup I've been known to do that from time to time.

Wanna see my most precious prize?

Here he is

He is the one that can ground me in a heart beat and I am thankful for him every single day. He is the one that can make me not be so serious about things.  Sometimes I wish I was more like him and let things just roll off my back. 

Thank you my Buddy for always knowing what to do and say. You have my heart always and forever. 

REALIZATION

Wow it's been awhile again since I have posted here on this blog. In the last few days I have found that I have really missed it and reading others blogs and being motivated and inspired by them whether they are on my crafty blog or a blog like this (whatever a blog like this is LOL)

I have not worked outside the home in 4 years. I never thought that would be me. Someone that works from home. There are times I despise it and miss adult conversations and getting out, but those days are very few now. I love working from home and in fact the social butterfly I used to be has turned more into a hermit crab.

I used to be very concerned about what people thought of me and that I could only be happy if they liked me. I became friends with a few individuals that were not good for me, oh hell really we weren't good for each other. I guess we had toxic effects on each other and those type of relationships are not good for either party. However we are in each others lives  for a time for a reason.

Slowly learning and still have a long way to go. The friends I have today are the ones that have made me realize these things and are the best ones around.

Today I saw a post on Facebook and it really is true those individuals you had in your life where there for a reason. You can find the link here

It's by Ladybug Whispers

Don't let anyone bring you down so low as to hate them. Release them from the hold they have on you and continue on with peace in your heart. Life is short and is not worth wasting your time trying to figure people out or prove anything to them. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. Strive to be the best person you can possibly be, be strong, and walk away. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hinder your happiness. We all have to learn certain lessons before our souls can reach their full potential. Have faith that they will learn their lessons when the time is right. Your life is much too precious to spend another minute worrying about someone that doesn't bring you happiness. Say goodbye and wish them well. After all, they've made you a stronger person. They'll see the light someday.

Slowly It's taken me 45 years and some really great friends that I have treasure. I love you all.

Time

It's been over a year since I was last here!

It's been a year of ups and downs and not knowing. A year since one of the worst scares of my life happened. I almost lost the love of my life.

We finally now know what we are dealing with and for how long. It's been confirmed that Terry has a genetic predisposition for Thrombophilia.  We knew we were dealing with blood clots and he has been on medication for them ever since.

Now knowing this is a genetic issue we have a different plan of action. He will have to be monitored all his life on different meds and watched very closely by his doctor and now his pulminary specialist. Also though he is a little freaked out about it, Marcus will now have to be tested.

Knowing this now we get on with life the way life should be. We spend time as a family and have a lot of fun.

This summer we went on a well deserved family holiday. It was a celebration for many reasons. Celebrating Terry's health, his graduation from his Masters program. Celebrating that our family remained intact during this Masters program. Marcus finishing Elementary school. And the first holiday we have had as a family in 6 years and the first one ever that didn't have family with us or visit family. Off to the sun, sand and surf.  

What a time we had. I think I fell more in love with my family if that is at all possible.

Turns out I love the beach even more and want to move here. I think my boys would be up for it too, however instead we will just visit more often. 

Marcus loves the lemonade there

An amazing trip with my fabulous family and we start new chapters in our lives. 

Mother's Day 2012

It's Mother's Day 2012.

Woke up at 5am. Nothing unusual there I wake up early almost every day. I laid there thinking or better yet trying to make myself believe it would be a great day.  It should be, I wanted it to be and I honestly did try.

I wrote a whole post on my day and how it basically sucked but then I decided to delete it. See my boys tried they really really did. I got a card from my son and yes it was a card I made for my mom before she passed but he wrote what he felt inside. It truly meant the world to me when he thanked me for driving him everywhere for everything he wants to do. And every time I look at it I will think of her and of him with a smile.

My husband took us out for breakfast with his mom, and that was wonderful - I didn't have to cook this morning. It was ok that I had to go in and buy the coffee on our drive out to get her, I was with my family and that's what mattered.

We visited my Dad. It was a hard day for my Dad and my siblings.  First Mother's Day without my Mom.  A few tears were shed. Ok more than a few on my part.

We had a lovely dinner and yes I had to cook it but at least I ate dinner with my husband and my amazing son.

It wasn't a day of luxury for me. It was a normal day. Laundry to be done, homework to help with and time spent with the people that mean the most to me.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been putting my arms around my Mom and wishing her a very Happy Day.  So instead I look out the patio doors into the night sky and find the star that is shining the brightest and throw a huge kiss because I know that's Mom and she is sending her love to us all.

LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER MOM