Some truths

Here's some truth about me.  You may already know some of them.

1. I'm shy - seriously I am - when you first meet me I hardly say anything. I sit back and watch the situation. I can even make myself sick over meeting someone or doing something new.

2.  I'm very insecure about everything

3.  I worry about friendships a lot - lately I have been feeling I put more value on my friendships than I receive in return and really that's not the case or I hope that's not the case - see truth # 2

4.  I am a HUGE worrier - always have been always will be - working on making it less life debilitating though since it has made me physically ill

5.  My feelings get hurt very easily. It has happened several times today and probably wasn't meant to be but then referring back to truth #2 is probably the reason.

6.  I can be very lazy and it can last for weeks and then turn OCD  to get everything done, organized and clean. ( I like the OCD part of me wish it came out more often)

7.  I don't like to give my opinions on hot topics because I'm afraid of sounding dumb and/or starting an argument where I get frustrated trying to share my thoughts and sound dumb

8. My family is dysfunctional but really no different than any other dysfunctional family just probably in a different way. Though in my mind at times I think we are the worst.

9.  I can kill a conversation through texting. Yup I can text back in a conversation and state something and the conversation is ended right there or my comment is totally ignored. Actually it's probably because well refer back to truth #2

10.  They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Well you think it is and you want what others have and I know in my head it's just a different shade of green but man I can't seem to tell my heart that sometimes.

Not every day is filled with these truths and most times I am the only one that sees them.  It also goes to show we are always a work in progress.

We have a teenager

Yup we have a teenager  in The Potter household.

How did that happen.

We are so proud of you Marcus.

You have grown into an amazing young man, with a caring heart. You are funny and stubborn. You are smart and smart assed and you take after your Mom and Dad so much that there is no denying you are ours.

We love you buddy and welcome to the teenage years

Here's to Marcus

Here's to our son.

You all know who this is. Marcus - our funny, loving, caring, goofy, fabulous son.

Several years ago a teacher introduced him to rugby. He loved it. Move 3 years later and he is in love with it even more.

This year he played U13 for the Calgary Saints Junior program. A fantastic team.  At the end of May he was invited to try out for the U14 Southern Alberta Boys team. He was one of the younger players to try out and that was out of about 50 kids. We even had to head to Edmonton to play the Northern Alberta team before the team was picked.

Seemed like weeks went by - never heard a peep. Then an email stating if you made the team and email would come to you shortly. Shortly never came. Well that's not true - seems rugby players, managers etc can't tell time and I was being impatient.

Many many hours later we got an email - CONGRATULATIONS.

OMG I couldn't believe it - I actually woke Marcus up and told him. He was so excited and I know he was proud of himself. As parents we were too. I cried. Yup I admit it. I cried. I knew he was good at playing rugby but didn't think good enough to make that team this year. Hell he was playing against some of the best of the best.  Guess my boy is one of them.

He has played the summer of his life, playing for two teams. The Saints took a break at the end of July and the provincial team took over, well after a short break. Marcushad to take a week off due to receiving a concussion/whiplash. That was the only time I heard "I'm bored" all summer.

The beginning of August was National Junior Rugby Festival in Calgary. Approx 1000 rugby players from all over Canada between the ages of 12 to 19 played a week on the pitch. Marcus even spent a day volunteering and being a ball boy for the older teams games.

Our boys did great. I am actually not positive of all the stats as one team never showed and 3 games were called due to rain/lightening.  We did win one and they played great. A few great friends and family came to watch, maybe they were the lucky charm we needed.

A week later we travelled to Kelowna for another tournament. Marcus on the team bus and staying with the team in dorms at the UBC Campus and Terry and I on our our. First time ever since July 2000. We did fun childless things and showed up in time for the game (ok we missed about 10 mins of it, there was wine to buy and fun to be had).

They played hard but unfortunately lost that game. Marcus was however named "Man of the Match" along with another player from his team. They are such a great bunch of kids. Even though their home teams are all rivals they all came together and did Southern Alberta proud.

Next week we are back to playing for the Saints for the fall session, and then we will be done until next March. That is unless Marcus makes the 2015 U14 Southern Alberta Rugby team.  Stay tuned.

MY HEART

You know when you have one of those days and you think if one more thing happens it's going to push me over the edge and it does! Well that's kind of been me lately not just today.

Not really sure what it was that pushed me over the edge tonight (ok maybe I actually do, maybe it was about 5 things) but I knew I had to quickly get out of this funk or I was going to regret my actions.

So I did what I normally do - get up and get in my vehicle and drive, however this time I took my most precious prize with me so I wouldn't wallow in self pity. Yup I've been known to do that from time to time.

Wanna see my most precious prize?

Here he is

He is the one that can ground me in a heart beat and I am thankful for him every single day. He is the one that can make me not be so serious about things.  Sometimes I wish I was more like him and let things just roll off my back. 

Thank you my Buddy for always knowing what to do and say. You have my heart always and forever. 

REALIZATION

Wow it's been awhile again since I have posted here on this blog. In the last few days I have found that I have really missed it and reading others blogs and being motivated and inspired by them whether they are on my crafty blog or a blog like this (whatever a blog like this is LOL)

I have not worked outside the home in 4 years. I never thought that would be me. Someone that works from home. There are times I despise it and miss adult conversations and getting out, but those days are very few now. I love working from home and in fact the social butterfly I used to be has turned more into a hermit crab.

I used to be very concerned about what people thought of me and that I could only be happy if they liked me. I became friends with a few individuals that were not good for me, oh hell really we weren't good for each other. I guess we had toxic effects on each other and those type of relationships are not good for either party. However we are in each others lives  for a time for a reason.

Slowly learning and still have a long way to go. The friends I have today are the ones that have made me realize these things and are the best ones around.

Today I saw a post on Facebook and it really is true those individuals you had in your life where there for a reason. You can find the link here

It's by Ladybug Whispers

Don't let anyone bring you down so low as to hate them. Release them from the hold they have on you and continue on with peace in your heart. Life is short and is not worth wasting your time trying to figure people out or prove anything to them. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself. Strive to be the best person you can possibly be, be strong, and walk away. Holding on to bitterness and anger will only hinder your happiness. We all have to learn certain lessons before our souls can reach their full potential. Have faith that they will learn their lessons when the time is right. Your life is much too precious to spend another minute worrying about someone that doesn't bring you happiness. Say goodbye and wish them well. After all, they've made you a stronger person. They'll see the light someday.

Slowly It's taken me 45 years and some really great friends that I have treasure. I love you all.

Time

It's been over a year since I was last here!

It's been a year of ups and downs and not knowing. A year since one of the worst scares of my life happened. I almost lost the love of my life.

We finally now know what we are dealing with and for how long. It's been confirmed that Terry has a genetic predisposition for Thrombophilia.  We knew we were dealing with blood clots and he has been on medication for them ever since.

Now knowing this is a genetic issue we have a different plan of action. He will have to be monitored all his life on different meds and watched very closely by his doctor and now his pulminary specialist. Also though he is a little freaked out about it, Marcus will now have to be tested.

Knowing this now we get on with life the way life should be. We spend time as a family and have a lot of fun.

This summer we went on a well deserved family holiday. It was a celebration for many reasons. Celebrating Terry's health, his graduation from his Masters program. Celebrating that our family remained intact during this Masters program. Marcus finishing Elementary school. And the first holiday we have had as a family in 6 years and the first one ever that didn't have family with us or visit family. Off to the sun, sand and surf.  

What a time we had. I think I fell more in love with my family if that is at all possible.

Turns out I love the beach even more and want to move here. I think my boys would be up for it too, however instead we will just visit more often. 

Marcus loves the lemonade there

An amazing trip with my fabulous family and we start new chapters in our lives. 

Mother's Day 2012

It's Mother's Day 2012.

Woke up at 5am. Nothing unusual there I wake up early almost every day. I laid there thinking or better yet trying to make myself believe it would be a great day.  It should be, I wanted it to be and I honestly did try.

I wrote a whole post on my day and how it basically sucked but then I decided to delete it. See my boys tried they really really did. I got a card from my son and yes it was a card I made for my mom before she passed but he wrote what he felt inside. It truly meant the world to me when he thanked me for driving him everywhere for everything he wants to do. And every time I look at it I will think of her and of him with a smile.

My husband took us out for breakfast with his mom, and that was wonderful - I didn't have to cook this morning. It was ok that I had to go in and buy the coffee on our drive out to get her, I was with my family and that's what mattered.

We visited my Dad. It was a hard day for my Dad and my siblings.  First Mother's Day without my Mom.  A few tears were shed. Ok more than a few on my part.

We had a lovely dinner and yes I had to cook it but at least I ate dinner with my husband and my amazing son.

It wasn't a day of luxury for me. It was a normal day. Laundry to be done, homework to help with and time spent with the people that mean the most to me.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been putting my arms around my Mom and wishing her a very Happy Day.  So instead I look out the patio doors into the night sky and find the star that is shining the brightest and throw a huge kiss because I know that's Mom and she is sending her love to us all.

LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER MOM

Just saying Thank you isn't enough

It's funny when you have something huge happen in your life whether it is exciting, life changing or down right scary you think you know who is going to be there for you. It's surprising who is there and sometimes even more who isn't.

Our life changing scary event we had last week with Terry showed us this. And I need to say THANK YOU to so many people that I am not sure even where to begin and it's truly not enough.

Our son - Marcus - how proud I am of you. You are the one that realized what happened to Dad the second time and reacted faster than I could and you are the one that put that phone in my hand to call 911 without even being asked to grab it. You are the one that got the kids to put the toys away and organized them so they were out of the way of the chaos that came. You were the one that put Frankie outside so the chaos wouldn't include him. Daddy and I are honoured to be your parents. We love you super duperity do and to the purple squishy planet and back.

Terry's Mom Hazel or as most of my friends know her - HAPPY GRANDMA was at the hospital by the time I arrived. I truly think her being there with me helped me hold it all together. I knew Terry would be ok but I also knew it was something serious though at the time we didn't know exactly what it was.  She made sure I had coffee and a muffin as she knew I hadn't eaten (it was still early) and share a sandwich with me at lunch so I wouldn't be in the bed beside Terry in the ER. I would not trade her in for a millions years or ever! Sorry she is mine!

My brothers - Shane always checked up on me and that afternoon met me in the ER and visited with Terry before going to do his visits with my parents that were in the same hospital. My brother Tom visited in the evening to make sure all was ok after his visit with our parents and took Marcus to visit with his grandparents so I could stay with Terry.  My sister Susan just to talk to her and text her made me feel more at ease. THANKS SIBLINGS LOVE YOU!

My two next door neighbors. Lynn who we've only known a few months and Glenda, they truly showed me how "neighborly" they truly are. Glenda came out in her housecoat and winter boots after her shower - I actually don't think she dried herself off and it was freezing out. Lynn came and walked right through the door told the paramedics she was a nurse and when they said they were ok for help she went right to my dayhome kids and my son and played with them until Terry was gone. She even helped me go through Terry's wallet looking for his health care card that I couldn't seem to find. See in a crisis that card seems to be invisible.  She also took Marcus for the day so I could be at the ER without worrying if he was fed or clothed even and let Frankie out and took him for a walk and made sure he had been fed. And fed us that night so I didn't have to cook.

Heather - you little sneaky girl by saying that your just coming to visit the next day but you came bearing lasagna and rolls and presents for all. You don't know how much that meant to me. You came at the right time too!

Eryn - in cahoots with Heather to make sure I was ok and your husband willing to take Marcus on that Saturday. THANK YOU

Diana - always just there for me as you have been for the past 42 years. Hey world I have the best BFF ever. Everyone should have one like her but you can't have mine.

Jill - THANK YOU for just listening to me talk and vent, and making sure that Marcus was looked after and always checking for updates.

Loretta - for dinner on Friday night and it was one of Marcus' favourites. Not having to cook or even think of dinner meant more than I can ever say.

McLauchlin Family - your wonderful card with gift cards to my favourite coffee shop and Subway for when I didn't have time or energy to cook was so very thoughtful and caring and I can't express my gratitude enough. It's great to reconnect with those friends I grew up with.

The parents of the wonderful kids I look after. How can I thank you enough for being there moments after I called to pick up your children. And the kids themselves that state the moment the ambulance leaves with Terry that they miss him and hope he gets better soon. I couldn't ask for a better group to look after. I am proud that you have chosen me to be the one to nurture, play and enjoy them while you work.

Other family like my cousins and Aunts and Uncles and Terry's cousins sending messages with their love and support. Friends that are in front of you in the Tim Horton's drive thru and when you get your order it's already paid for. And so many friends putting us in their prayers and thoughts.

Guaranteed if any of you ever need us we will be there.

Terry and I are so very blessed to have you all in our lives and we cherish and love each and every one of you.

LOVE OF MY LIFE

I am amazed
When I look at you
I see you smiling back at me
It's like all my dreams come true
I am afraid
If I lost you girl
I'd fall through the cracks
And lose my track in this crazy lonely world

Sometimes it's so hard to believe
When the nights can be so long
And gave me the strength
And kept me holding on

Chorus
You are the love of my life
And I'm so glad you found me
You are the love of my life
Baby put your arms around me
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally find something real
My angel in the night
You are my love
The love of my life

Now here you are
With midnight closing in
You take my hand as our shadows dance
With moonlite on your skin

I look in your eyes
I'm lost inside your kiss
I think if I'd never met you
About all the things i'd missed

sometimes it's so hard to believe
when a love can be so strong
and faith gave me the strength
and kept me holding on

You are the love of my life
And I'm so glad you found me
You are the love of my life
Baby put your arms around me
I guess this is how it feels
When you finally find something real
My angel in the night
You are my love
The love of my life


by Jim Brickman

Meet my LOVE OF MY LIFE

He's a shy, extremely intelligent, funny, sarcastic, loveable, wonderful, sensitive, quiet, an amazing husband and father.

Last week I thought he was going to leave me forever, but thanks to an amazing group of medical professionals he is on his way to being better than ever.

You always think that nothing like that can happen to you but you know what it can and it does so hold on tight to those you love and cherish them even more. That little fight you had this morning over who left the cap off the toothpaste means nothing but holding your loved ones hand while you go for a stroll does.

And ALWAYS kiss them goodbye and tell them you love them.

WHAT INSPIRES YOU?

in·spire

  [in-spahy^uhr] verb, -spired, -spir·ing.

verb (used with object)

1.

to fill with an animating, quickening, or exalting influence:His courage inspired his followers.

2.

to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.): to inspire confidence in others.

3.

to fill or affect with a specified feeling, thought, etc.: to inspire a person with distrust.

4.

to influence or impel: Competition inspired her to greater efforts.

5.

to animate, as an influence, feeling, thought, or the like,does: They were inspired by a belief in a 

better future.

There are a million things that inspire me and I would love to share them all with you but I am sure you have a life and don't want to be reading this post for a month.

I love to be inspired. It makes me happy, it fills me with joy.  I need to be inspired in many parts of my life.

So what inspires me?  

There are  things like the smell of freshly cut grass or the laughter of the young kids I look after. Having that first cup of coffee in the morning while camping (preferably with Bailey's in it). My husband holding my hand as we walk down the street (yup after 13 years together he still likes to hold it). Amazing friends.  A piece of artwork that sends me off to my craft zone to scrapbook a picture or create a card. 

 There's a ton of others but here's some of my favourites

My husband Terry and our son Marcus

Our nutty dog Frankie who thinks he is human

Weekends away with my Soul Sista's Heather and Eryn (just need my BFF Diana to join us)

My siblings - this is Susan and Shane (can't find a picture with all 5 of us it's very rare we are all together in the same place)

My niece Sarah,  nephews Kirby, Taylor, Adam with Marcus and my parents.

So what inspires you?

I AM

One of my friends did this on her blog and I had to follow along. Check out HEATHER. She has an amazing blog and a great writer.

I AM a daughter, sister, aunt, wife, mother, friend, and caregiver.

I WANT 2012 to be my family and extended family's year. Only good things.

I HAVE come to realize I have some AMAZING friends and so glad that I have reconnected with some from my past and so thankful for the ones I have made in recent years and as always my BFF for loving me for just me.

I KEEP everything yup I do ask my husband. Though I'm getting better at purging.

I WISH I could complete more projects than I do.

I HATE that I have a bad temper and hold things in until it flares and that usually my husband gets the brunt of it.

I FEAR the loss of my child and my husband, they really are my heart.

I HEAR a lot and sometimes things that aren't really there and make more out of it then I should.

I DON'T THINK that I have reached my full potential yet.

I REGRET very little in my life only because it's what makes me who I am today.

I LOVE with all my heart.

I AM NOT a very good liar and that's a good thing.

I DANCE whenever I can and some would say I dance like no one is watching and that I really should stop!

I SING and sing and like dancing my family says STOP! I don't listen to them and am thinking of starting a band with my friend Jill - we'd make a killing.

I NEVER seem to have enough hours in the day.

I RARELY sleep past 8 am. Ok really I rarely sleep through the night even, it's almost like I'm a newborn. 

I CRY WHEN anything happens. Good, bad, sad, happy, you name it I can cry about it. Terry calls me "Puddles" and all he has to say is Old Yeller. Oh look there I go. Sniff Sniff...

I AM NOT ALWAYS confident and sure of myself and decisions. You would think after 43 years I would be.

I AM CONFUSED ABOUT life but I think we are supposed to be.

I NEED my family and good friends in my life. Love them with all my heart.

I SHOULD get up and walk the dog or do the dishes or laundry and the other zillion things on my to do list but am going to continue to snuggle on the couch watching TV and surfing the net with my favourite 10 year old and favourite furry dog.

http://life-is-but-a-stage.blogspot.com/

It's been a long time

It's been a long time since I posted. Just over 3 months and not sure why I haven't other than life got busy and I have no idea what I've done since then!

 A lot has happened since then. My mom ended up in the hospital approximately the beginning of October and was just released to go back home a few days ago. Long struggle for her and some very close calls but she is home.

In September my husband took the plunge and went back to school full-time while working full-time.  I want to see my husband. I want us to have our date nights and our family fun nights. I miss him but I know what he is doing is worth it in the end.  June 30, 2013 can't come soon enough for me.

Marcus turned 10 in November. How the heck did we become parents to a 10 year old. Seriously HOW I'm sure I'm only 33 still. Yes I live in a fantasy world. LOL!  He is turning into a wonderful young man that I'm proud to call my son.

Christmas came, it was quiet for us and really what this family of 3 really needed this year.  My boys were home for break and it was wonderful having them with me, though it's nice to have routine.

I've missed blogging (not that I did a lot before) I am hoping for a bit more time to come here to a place where I can just say whatever is I need to say.

It's Friday

It's Friday - oh thank goodness!

I have been back in the working world almost 3 months. When I went back it worked out that I didn't work Fridays. I loved it especially in the summer when I could spend it with Marcus and Terry since they both were home.

Well 2 weeks ago that changed and I no longer have Fridays off!  I only have one child to look after and  really only 5 or 6 hours a day as she goes to school in the afternoon and she's 5 so it's a pretty easy gig.

Today though I was sad she came because Marcus is off school and we all could have slept in (something I'm learning to do again). I was up before 7am and the Munchkin was at the door 10 minutes later. My normal Friday morning routine of a coffee and some trash tv is no longer. Apparently it's bad form in dayhome to subject the children to Maury and the 5 possible baby daddies he has on his show. (Shhhhhh don't tell anyone because I will deny it and you will have to get some sort of test to prove it! LOL!)

Instead my morning is now a cup of coffee (see a trend there?) and Little People Castle playing and that's ok too but I going to really look forward to the afternoon when I can have that remote in my hand and watch some Days of Our Lives!

Happy Friday all and have an amazing weekend

Encouraged

Tonight we had Parent Teacher at Marcus' school. Well it was more "Meet the Teacher and let's set some goals". I love this school for many reasons.

First one, it's the same Elementary school I attended. Yup it's that old. In fact Marcus' grade 5 class is the same grade 5 class I had. It is a little surreal having him there at times. I walk into his class room and I remember Mrs. Michael and how I did not like her. I walk into the library and see the story corner and remember giggling with my friends over something silly. Marcus thinks it's pretty cool that he goes to the same school that I and his Aunt and Uncles did. He loves being part of something I was part of. He is a little nostalgic like me.

Secondly, I love this school. It has brought friends together, friends that have lost track of each other and now our children are in the same classroom. Friends I met at the school and then went our separate ways and friends I made in high school. We have all come together.

Thirdly, because of the staff. They are amazing people and I'm proud to call them my friends as well.

Marcus has the new teacher of the school this year. I wasn't sure how I would like that despite being reassured by many that it would be a good fit. He seems like the right teacher for Marcus. I think and feel they read each other well and only time will tell if I'm right.  Marcus set some goals and worked on how he can get there and we felt like we were encouraged that Grade 5 is going to be a great year.

Missing the old job world?

Last week I thought for just a moment that I missed working outside the home in the business world. Getting up in the morning and being with grown ups, relating like grown ups and for the most part acting like grown ups. Having even more health benefits than just my husband's and possibly more pay and a few perks that go along with that world but then I turned around and looked at the 6 children playing on my living room floor and took a sip of my coffee that I just freshly brewed and knew exactly where I belonged.

I walked over to those 6 kids and joined them in making the best Little People town anyone had ever seen. We had so much fun. The two 18 month olds were the giants that were crushing the train and trying to get the princess in the pink castle while the 5 year old was telling the knight in the brown castle to get to the plane and take the king to the construction site where he would be safe with the boulders. Little did they know that the 3 year old was telling the T-Rex that he should be a train engineer but how would he fit in the little Little People Train? And the whole time one 18 month old is giggling from his toes. I LOVE the imagination of these 6.

About 45 mins of playing like this I got up from the floor and knew exactly where I needed and wanted to be. Right there on the floor amongst the Little People and 6 amazing little people.

Teachers

I started this blog to bring exactly the name of it - Inspiration, Love and Joy to whomever but mostly it was for me. For me to express my thoughts, my fears, my goofy laughable moments, my joys of whatever it was I was feeling at the time.


Today I read an article about teachers. If you would like to read it and I suggest you do it's here. I find it very intriguing on several levels.


My first impression of teachers when I was younger was oh they don't work hard, they get summers off, they get Christmas and Spring break and what are these professional days, those must just be days to party. 


I truly thought that. 


Move forward several years and I meet the love of my life. I meet him as he is just finishing his Masters of teaching degree and thought yeah this guy just wants all that time off too!  Just before we got married he started his first full time teaching gig. I thought this is going to be great. I work full time but he will be home early on Fridays and all those breaks he can do so much for me and around the house and when we have kids it's going to be awesome - he can look after the kids during those times. Well I was fooled.


By the second month of him teaching and while we were planning our wedding, really it was just me because he was busier than anything. He was up all night marking papers or designing exams.  Our wedding was the day after Christmas break started because he didn't want to miss work (really it was because if he took the time for a wedding and honeymoon at the time we really wanted he would lose pay which we could not afford). Onto our honeymoon and I look in the back seat and there is his briefcase full of papers to mark that had to be completed by the time school started. WTH????? I was getting really upset with this after all it's our honeymoon.  


Move forward several years later and we enroll our son Marcus in school.  We go to parent teacher conferences, I volunteer on parent council and in the classroom when I can. It's just me doing that a lot of the time as my husband is required to be at his work to do those same things for his students and their parents. Our son doesn't always understand that Terry is there for the other kids but not him. He doesn't always like Daddy's job.


While volunteering at Marcus' school I see/hear a lot from parents in exactly how the article states. I could go on and on about this but then I'd be blogging for a week.


I listen to Terry come home from work saying basically the same things as well as how he has had to deal with some kids that decided it would be cool to drink or do drugs in the school and then pass out and have to have an ambulance come for them and then listen to the parents saying it's not the kids fault. Or some kid bringing a gun or knife to school.


Teachers are not our babysitters. They are well educated people who have spent many years working on their skills and knowledge. I believe that parents and teachers should work as partners, really they spend more time in the day during a school year with our kids than we do. They also see our children in a different light than we do, after all we are a little biased when it comes to our own children.


There are many more points I could bring up but the article does that for me. 


Terry and I are so truly thankful for the teachers that Marcus has had in the past 5 years, they have helped us get through some rough spots, helped celebrate some accomplishments and had some great laughs. They are amazing people and we look forward to another amazing year working together with Marcus' Grade 5 teacher. 

Discouraged

I really do try to be an upbeat person. I try to find the good in everyone because I believe everyone has some good in them.

Sometimes I feel like I'm in high school though or worse grade 8 flashes back to my mind where people I thought were my friends talk behind my back and/or make fun of me for whatever reason it is they find the need to do this for. Why is it at 43 years old I still feel like this. After this many years you would think I'd learn to handle it or to just get over it but rushes back like a raft going down the wild rapids of the Kicking Horse. I've done so many things for some friends (ask for my help and you will get it 99.9% of the time), always being there for them and always trying to make them feel and know that they are my friend and all I ask is for this in return.

There have been times lately that friends I have considered to be really good friends haven't returned this and found a few lying to me. I have never handled this well even when I was 8. I've never been good with confrontation (unless it's with my husband) and always end up not saying what I need to say in the way I need to say it. You know the type that always has the perfect come back or thing to say 1 hour after you should have it! Yup that's me. So now I am at a point in some situations where I have no idea what to do and it turns out that some of the people whose advise I would ask are the people whose friendships I question.

Maybe I need a therapist, maybe I need to just forget the situation and move on, or maybe it just calls for more margaritas.  Who knows!

Whatever the answers are and who knows if I find them I always know that there are two things that help. My amazing husband and my loving son.

Inspiration

I set up this blog for a few different reasons, one of them was for inspiration about life. Not only was it to possibly inspire someone somewhere but also to be inspired by someone.

One person who has inspired me is a friend that I used to work with (in fact she was my boss at one time). I always felt I could talk to her and she would give me honesty and truth in any response.  I am no longer working there and have not for awhile now but still feel this connection with her. She recently started her own blog and I follow. I'm glad I do. I enjoy her entries and would like to share one with you today! Her last post was about geese and I have to say that it was about a lot more than a fine feathered bird.

Enjoy and check out Heather's blog and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Acceptance and Intution

I was missing something and I didn't know what it was until a friend mentioned to me that she felt I didn't have ACCEPTANCE in my life. So I began to read a few articles about it. It struck a cord with me, my dear friend was right!

An article said that "acceptance means different things to different people and that you make the conscious decision to be at peace about an event or person that perhaps you previously would have been judgmental about, but you no longer have the desire to be that way." It's a choice.

The older we get the more we listen to our inner voice and trust it. Gut instinct. It took me a long time to realize I had ignored it but in the past year and half it has proven time and time again that my instinct is right on the money. I have learned what works for me and what doesn't. Acceptance means we make choices and need to accept those choices and move forward in life. Let the past be the past. Sometimes those choices break your heart and don't always feel right at first. However acceptance allows you to relinquish that nagging voice that encourages you to doubt yourself. Acceptance has a calming factor, it reminds you that you have made the choices that only you and you alone can make. Acceptance means recognizing and showing appreciation for our differences.  Respecting each person for their uniqueness is simply what we would like from them, so we must give it out first.

Another article stated that "when we can accept situations created by others that are beyond our control, especially when we do not agree with them, we no longer feel the need to have some kind of negative emotional reaction to it. This frees up that energy to be channeled elsewhere, into positive, fulfilling activities of the mind and the heart.  

After reading these articles acceptance = peace within. I am  not completely there, I don't think anyone is 100% there but I'm well on my way and thank my amazing husband, my wonderful son and all my friends that are always there for me and that I trust with my heart.