4 am

I hear the birds starting to wake up for the day, my amazing son talking in his sleep about kicking a soccer ball to his friend Dylan and it's 4 am and I'm still up. 


I tend to let things bother me and it's really a silly habit of mine. There are times I let things eat at me. I wish I was like the man sleeping next to me and just let it be what it is and able to snore away. I try, I really really do. I last blogged about struggling and wondering and felt at peace with things and was really trying to live the ideas I had soul searched, just being my true self, going with my gut and being patient. At times though it is so hard. 


I hate being lied to by people that I call friends, though interpretation of friends is different from person to person. For me if I call you a friend that means I am there for you through everything whenever you need me even if you don't think you do. I believe I'm a good friend. All I ask back is the same in return.


I know that isn't possible from all people and I should expect disappointment. I try to find the good in all and sometimes I struggle with that.


I have reconnected with some people in my past that had moved away or we have lost touch with and I'm so glad to have them back in my life. I've missed them.


One of them said in the great words of Po from Kung Fu Panda 2 (Thank you Loretta)


You've got to let go of that stuff from the past, because it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now. 


That's words to live by and I truly hope I and everyone else can.