It's Friday

It's Friday - oh thank goodness!

I have been back in the working world almost 3 months. When I went back it worked out that I didn't work Fridays. I loved it especially in the summer when I could spend it with Marcus and Terry since they both were home.

Well 2 weeks ago that changed and I no longer have Fridays off!  I only have one child to look after and  really only 5 or 6 hours a day as she goes to school in the afternoon and she's 5 so it's a pretty easy gig.

Today though I was sad she came because Marcus is off school and we all could have slept in (something I'm learning to do again). I was up before 7am and the Munchkin was at the door 10 minutes later. My normal Friday morning routine of a coffee and some trash tv is no longer. Apparently it's bad form in dayhome to subject the children to Maury and the 5 possible baby daddies he has on his show. (Shhhhhh don't tell anyone because I will deny it and you will have to get some sort of test to prove it! LOL!)

Instead my morning is now a cup of coffee (see a trend there?) and Little People Castle playing and that's ok too but I going to really look forward to the afternoon when I can have that remote in my hand and watch some Days of Our Lives!

Happy Friday all and have an amazing weekend

Encouraged

Tonight we had Parent Teacher at Marcus' school. Well it was more "Meet the Teacher and let's set some goals". I love this school for many reasons.

First one, it's the same Elementary school I attended. Yup it's that old. In fact Marcus' grade 5 class is the same grade 5 class I had. It is a little surreal having him there at times. I walk into his class room and I remember Mrs. Michael and how I did not like her. I walk into the library and see the story corner and remember giggling with my friends over something silly. Marcus thinks it's pretty cool that he goes to the same school that I and his Aunt and Uncles did. He loves being part of something I was part of. He is a little nostalgic like me.

Secondly, I love this school. It has brought friends together, friends that have lost track of each other and now our children are in the same classroom. Friends I met at the school and then went our separate ways and friends I made in high school. We have all come together.

Thirdly, because of the staff. They are amazing people and I'm proud to call them my friends as well.

Marcus has the new teacher of the school this year. I wasn't sure how I would like that despite being reassured by many that it would be a good fit. He seems like the right teacher for Marcus. I think and feel they read each other well and only time will tell if I'm right.  Marcus set some goals and worked on how he can get there and we felt like we were encouraged that Grade 5 is going to be a great year.

Missing the old job world?

Last week I thought for just a moment that I missed working outside the home in the business world. Getting up in the morning and being with grown ups, relating like grown ups and for the most part acting like grown ups. Having even more health benefits than just my husband's and possibly more pay and a few perks that go along with that world but then I turned around and looked at the 6 children playing on my living room floor and took a sip of my coffee that I just freshly brewed and knew exactly where I belonged.

I walked over to those 6 kids and joined them in making the best Little People town anyone had ever seen. We had so much fun. The two 18 month olds were the giants that were crushing the train and trying to get the princess in the pink castle while the 5 year old was telling the knight in the brown castle to get to the plane and take the king to the construction site where he would be safe with the boulders. Little did they know that the 3 year old was telling the T-Rex that he should be a train engineer but how would he fit in the little Little People Train? And the whole time one 18 month old is giggling from his toes. I LOVE the imagination of these 6.

About 45 mins of playing like this I got up from the floor and knew exactly where I needed and wanted to be. Right there on the floor amongst the Little People and 6 amazing little people.

Teachers

I started this blog to bring exactly the name of it - Inspiration, Love and Joy to whomever but mostly it was for me. For me to express my thoughts, my fears, my goofy laughable moments, my joys of whatever it was I was feeling at the time.


Today I read an article about teachers. If you would like to read it and I suggest you do it's here. I find it very intriguing on several levels.


My first impression of teachers when I was younger was oh they don't work hard, they get summers off, they get Christmas and Spring break and what are these professional days, those must just be days to party. 


I truly thought that. 


Move forward several years and I meet the love of my life. I meet him as he is just finishing his Masters of teaching degree and thought yeah this guy just wants all that time off too!  Just before we got married he started his first full time teaching gig. I thought this is going to be great. I work full time but he will be home early on Fridays and all those breaks he can do so much for me and around the house and when we have kids it's going to be awesome - he can look after the kids during those times. Well I was fooled.


By the second month of him teaching and while we were planning our wedding, really it was just me because he was busier than anything. He was up all night marking papers or designing exams.  Our wedding was the day after Christmas break started because he didn't want to miss work (really it was because if he took the time for a wedding and honeymoon at the time we really wanted he would lose pay which we could not afford). Onto our honeymoon and I look in the back seat and there is his briefcase full of papers to mark that had to be completed by the time school started. WTH????? I was getting really upset with this after all it's our honeymoon.  


Move forward several years later and we enroll our son Marcus in school.  We go to parent teacher conferences, I volunteer on parent council and in the classroom when I can. It's just me doing that a lot of the time as my husband is required to be at his work to do those same things for his students and their parents. Our son doesn't always understand that Terry is there for the other kids but not him. He doesn't always like Daddy's job.


While volunteering at Marcus' school I see/hear a lot from parents in exactly how the article states. I could go on and on about this but then I'd be blogging for a week.


I listen to Terry come home from work saying basically the same things as well as how he has had to deal with some kids that decided it would be cool to drink or do drugs in the school and then pass out and have to have an ambulance come for them and then listen to the parents saying it's not the kids fault. Or some kid bringing a gun or knife to school.


Teachers are not our babysitters. They are well educated people who have spent many years working on their skills and knowledge. I believe that parents and teachers should work as partners, really they spend more time in the day during a school year with our kids than we do. They also see our children in a different light than we do, after all we are a little biased when it comes to our own children.


There are many more points I could bring up but the article does that for me. 


Terry and I are so truly thankful for the teachers that Marcus has had in the past 5 years, they have helped us get through some rough spots, helped celebrate some accomplishments and had some great laughs. They are amazing people and we look forward to another amazing year working together with Marcus' Grade 5 teacher. 

Discouraged

I really do try to be an upbeat person. I try to find the good in everyone because I believe everyone has some good in them.

Sometimes I feel like I'm in high school though or worse grade 8 flashes back to my mind where people I thought were my friends talk behind my back and/or make fun of me for whatever reason it is they find the need to do this for. Why is it at 43 years old I still feel like this. After this many years you would think I'd learn to handle it or to just get over it but rushes back like a raft going down the wild rapids of the Kicking Horse. I've done so many things for some friends (ask for my help and you will get it 99.9% of the time), always being there for them and always trying to make them feel and know that they are my friend and all I ask is for this in return.

There have been times lately that friends I have considered to be really good friends haven't returned this and found a few lying to me. I have never handled this well even when I was 8. I've never been good with confrontation (unless it's with my husband) and always end up not saying what I need to say in the way I need to say it. You know the type that always has the perfect come back or thing to say 1 hour after you should have it! Yup that's me. So now I am at a point in some situations where I have no idea what to do and it turns out that some of the people whose advise I would ask are the people whose friendships I question.

Maybe I need a therapist, maybe I need to just forget the situation and move on, or maybe it just calls for more margaritas.  Who knows!

Whatever the answers are and who knows if I find them I always know that there are two things that help. My amazing husband and my loving son.

Inspiration

I set up this blog for a few different reasons, one of them was for inspiration about life. Not only was it to possibly inspire someone somewhere but also to be inspired by someone.

One person who has inspired me is a friend that I used to work with (in fact she was my boss at one time). I always felt I could talk to her and she would give me honesty and truth in any response.  I am no longer working there and have not for awhile now but still feel this connection with her. She recently started her own blog and I follow. I'm glad I do. I enjoy her entries and would like to share one with you today! Her last post was about geese and I have to say that it was about a lot more than a fine feathered bird.

Enjoy and check out Heather's blog and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Acceptance and Intution

I was missing something and I didn't know what it was until a friend mentioned to me that she felt I didn't have ACCEPTANCE in my life. So I began to read a few articles about it. It struck a cord with me, my dear friend was right!

An article said that "acceptance means different things to different people and that you make the conscious decision to be at peace about an event or person that perhaps you previously would have been judgmental about, but you no longer have the desire to be that way." It's a choice.

The older we get the more we listen to our inner voice and trust it. Gut instinct. It took me a long time to realize I had ignored it but in the past year and half it has proven time and time again that my instinct is right on the money. I have learned what works for me and what doesn't. Acceptance means we make choices and need to accept those choices and move forward in life. Let the past be the past. Sometimes those choices break your heart and don't always feel right at first. However acceptance allows you to relinquish that nagging voice that encourages you to doubt yourself. Acceptance has a calming factor, it reminds you that you have made the choices that only you and you alone can make. Acceptance means recognizing and showing appreciation for our differences.  Respecting each person for their uniqueness is simply what we would like from them, so we must give it out first.

Another article stated that "when we can accept situations created by others that are beyond our control, especially when we do not agree with them, we no longer feel the need to have some kind of negative emotional reaction to it. This frees up that energy to be channeled elsewhere, into positive, fulfilling activities of the mind and the heart.  

After reading these articles acceptance = peace within. I am  not completely there, I don't think anyone is 100% there but I'm well on my way and thank my amazing husband, my wonderful son and all my friends that are always there for me and that I trust with my heart.

4 am

I hear the birds starting to wake up for the day, my amazing son talking in his sleep about kicking a soccer ball to his friend Dylan and it's 4 am and I'm still up. 


I tend to let things bother me and it's really a silly habit of mine. There are times I let things eat at me. I wish I was like the man sleeping next to me and just let it be what it is and able to snore away. I try, I really really do. I last blogged about struggling and wondering and felt at peace with things and was really trying to live the ideas I had soul searched, just being my true self, going with my gut and being patient. At times though it is so hard. 


I hate being lied to by people that I call friends, though interpretation of friends is different from person to person. For me if I call you a friend that means I am there for you through everything whenever you need me even if you don't think you do. I believe I'm a good friend. All I ask back is the same in return.


I know that isn't possible from all people and I should expect disappointment. I try to find the good in all and sometimes I struggle with that.


I have reconnected with some people in my past that had moved away or we have lost touch with and I'm so glad to have them back in my life. I've missed them.


One of them said in the great words of Po from Kung Fu Panda 2 (Thank you Loretta)


You've got to let go of that stuff from the past, because it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose to be now. 


That's words to live by and I truly hope I and everyone else can.

Struggling and wondering

It's been forever since I last blogged, I start and then put aside never finishing it. That's been the way for a few things in my life lately and this worries me.

Do you ever find yourself struggling more than normal? Lately I have been with many many things and wondering why? Why can't I seem to get a handle on it. I second guess myself all the time, oh heck I think I'm second guessing myself four or five times over and its in matters of all shapes and sizes.

After some soul searching I've come to realize and learnt a few things about myself and life.

1. JUST BE YOURSELF - I just need to be me. Me is all I can be and all that I should be. I felt I was changing who I was so that would fit into a certain mold and it wasn't me. I felt dishonest with myself. If people I considered friends don't like the real me then they aren't the friends I thought they were and that's ok because not everyone can be friends with everyone.

2. GO WITH YOUR GUT - it's usually right 100% of the time. There's been some incidents lately that I have once again questioned. Am I being told the truth. I hate being lied to and have to admit the stubborn side of me will always find out the truth. This has happened a few times and in the end I have realized I should have just gone with the first instinct I had because it was right.

3. PATIENCE - this one is hard for me. I have the patience of Job for somethings and then with others I can fly off the handle in a nanosecond. For me this is something that will take time and is a work in progress.

Life isn't easy and really if it was what would be the fun at that. The things that happen in the past are what make you the person you are today.

Being a Mom, Wife, Sister, Friend it's all hard to keep it in line and in check with the demands of everyday life that can get crazy at times. But if I remember the above 3 things I can get through the day with happiness and being true to myself and in all this teaching my son the right values in life. 

A journey

What's that saying Life is a Journey. Well my life has been one that I wouldn't trade the past as it's what made me who I am today.

I think back over the years and there are many people that influenced me in one way or another. There aren't many however that have known me for my entire life like two people. My BFF Diana and her mom Mrs. P.  Now Diana has been my BFF since day one.

We grew up on the same street, 2 houses between us and though we were in different school systems we spent most of our time together.  We skated together, we entered Brownies and Girl Guides together, we would bike to get a slurpee, and sometimes we even liked the same boy at the same time. Her parents would take me camping with them, my family (well mostly my brothers would tease her like a little sister). And that is what she is to me a sister. Her mom Mrs. P is my 2nd mom and always made me feel part of her family. Since the late 1980's Mrs. P has has fought one illness or another and there were times when doctors told the family to prepare themselves for the worst but she always fought back. According to the doctors she shouldn't have lived the life she did. But she fought each illness with zest and gumption until this past Wednesday where I truly believe that she decided enough was enough and waited for Diana to be with her and then went to meet Mr. P. I think he decided he needed dinner made or a shirt ironed! ;) But now after a long wait they are again together.

Mrs. P you will always be a huge part of my life and I treasure every moment. You taught me to give it your all and not give up. And best of all you gave me a best friend that means the world to me.

You will be deeply missed but will always have a place in our hearts.

We now return to your regular scheduled program

Despite the fact I can barely walk this evening 2011 is starting off great. It's time to put it all in order. Today was a day to start that. Time off in cold weather makes us a little lazy.  School went back today and my wonderful son got back to his regular programming. He needs structure and so do I. We both said it would be a great day and it turned out to be a fantastic day for us both. I got to shop today for some organization for our home (would have been even better if Jill could have joined me but she needed to be home with her son who was under the weather) and then Marcus came home happy and said he had a great day, played with his Lego (plus Mom bought him some more on her visit to the Lego store, as you can't pass up a sale) and he even let me control the remote for the TV!

Today was definitely a day of JOY and I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Think good thoughts. Speak good words. Take good actions. Three steps that will bring more to you than you can ever imagine.

1-1-11

It's a new year and a new start for everything in my life.

I have dedicated this blog to inspiration, love and joy some of the things I need and want in my life and the changes I want to make.

I hope you follow along.

Happy New Year and may 2011 be a fantastic year for you.